Safety = Consent …

 

In light of recent events, I have been avoiding the papers, I read whatever I want to read and glide through the rest, you may wonder why I am choosing to only partially educate myself about the happenings in the world. The reality is that I like many others get distressed when I read about rape, murder, animal abuse and other such disgraceful and pathetic displays of power.

As a woman who has spent almost 85% of her life in Delhi NCR since the very beginning I have been schooled by my family and teachers about safety. At the age of 4 when school started our teachers would tell us how to be safe while boarding the bus, not leaving the gate of the school under any circumstance, staying away from the drivers and conductors etc. Our parents did the same and added many more layers to this ‘suraksha kawach’. People who have daughters live in this perpetual fear of them getting hurt and that is where the problem lies. Our parents and teachers are telling the girls how to be safe, noone is talking to the boys about making sure that they dont hurt!!

We have deep rooted sexism in our lives, to a degree that we dont even realise we are being sexist.. You will often hear friends and sadly sometimes even family members tell boys, ” Don’t cry like a girl ! ” , “you are being a sissie” , or the most common one “Be a man !! ” these three very seemingly harmless statements have huge underlying impacts on the way our sons behave, or rather I should say THINK THEY SHOULD BEHAVE.

A sensitive boy is a often compared to a girl or referred to as a sissie implying in some way weakness, thus by understanding women are deemed as the weaker sex! When we perpetuate such stereotypes in our own minds no wonder the sons of our country are raping the daughters

The women of our nation know very well how to protect themselves. Its drilled into our DNA. High time we drill the men into understanding their responsibility towards themselves and the women of this country.

Just because a girl wears revealing clothes DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS READY FOR RAPE!!

Just because she goes out with you and has a few drinks and dances DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS READY FOR RAPE!!

NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION, NO ONE EVER WANTS TO BE RAPED!!

We have prepared our daughters to reach the moon and we have failed at preparing our sons to be the men they need to be. As a society I blame us women the most, we are the biggest perpetuators of these stereotypes when we talk to our daughters about safety and character and fail to have the same conversation with the exact same gusto when it comes to our sons.

For every mother who has a son, talk to your sons the way you talk to your daughters.. Tell them about RESPECT and RESPONSIBILITY, HONOUR and ETHICS.

Tell them the difference between a MAN and A RAPIST

Women have the power to shape societies, men have always lived under the influence of women without realising that they do. Sadly we women have failed at being the influencers nature wanted us to be.. I do not know who is more to blame, men who rape, or women who didn’t teach them its wrong to rape..

Gender parity is not just good for women is it good for society and if we manage to change the way we deal with our sons we wont have to worry so much about our daughters..

God Bless

So Be It

 

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